Stop Comparing Other People To The One You Love
If you are suffering from unrequited love there is a high probability that you are constantly comparing other people to the one that you can’t have. In this article I want to demonstrate how destructive and negative that behavior is for your own life, and, more importantly, I also want to show you what you can do to actually stop it.
There’s quite a bit of psychology involved in this, but I’m pretty confident that you already have an understanding of the basics.
Anyway, I want to lay them out here, just to be absolutely sure that you are really aware of what you are doing. Because this comparing other people to the one that you love is an action, it is something that you do. And you can change your actions, you can change what you do. Right now the problem is that this action is a kind of an obsessive action that is almost working on autopilot. But let’s look at the action itself first.
What you’re basically doing this that you have an idealized image in your mind of the person that you love but that doesn’t love you back. This isn’t even the real person. It’s the person how you see it. But right now, you are looking through love glasses. Love glasses make everybody look great. And love glasses also filter out all the faults and all the things that are wrong about the person.
So you really want to take off your love glasses. But that’s not easy. Because you like looking at a person through your love glasses. In fact you are subconsciously addicted to it right now.
Every person that you meet, you are comparing them to the idealized image of the one that you long for. And of course, no real person cannot measure up against an idealized image in your mind.
So there are really two ways to solve this problem, one way is to take off the love glasses and the other way is to just stop comparing.
Every time you catch yourself comparing other people to the one you love, just say to yourself in your mind, literally: “Stop! Don’t do that!” And then, instead of comparing the person that is standing in front of you to the idealized image of the person you love, make the conscious effort to look for something in the person that is standing in front of you that you admire and that you like, that you think is positive and beautiful.
What you want to do is that you kind of want to retrain the subconscious behavior pattern.
This will take a lot of effort and it will take some time to really work. From my personal experience, it’s a lot easier to stop comparing other people, than it is to take off the love glasses. But even for taking on the love glasses there techniques that can help you. I go into more detail in the Unrequited Love Advisor.
It’s important that you realize that no single technique or method will help you cope with unrequited love, but only a system, a method that uses different elements that all work together to help you to get over unrequited love and move on with your life on your way to happiness.